As of May 1st we find ourselves living in a post-Lovells era, when the merger between the hardy Holbornites and Hogan & Hartson went live. But where are the trumpets, the star endorsements, the ticker tape parades? Nowhere. Instead we find the new age heralded by a very modest – almost apologetic – web site.
Perhaps it’s just a lack of time, or a feeling that the legacy sites were more than adequate in terms of positioning the firm(s). Perhaps they don’t want to be seen to be chucking dollars around whilst clients are still weeping into their end-of-years.
Maybe, perhaps, in a week or two there’ll be a site that makes Coca-Cola’s look like Topps Tiles’. But for now, there’s little that actively differentiates, and what looks like a whole lot of box-ticking.
The home page is bizarre: what’s the picture? Paper? Architecture? A set from The Phantom Menace? Hard to tell. Moving on, the ‘About Us’ page reads like a directory of legal marketing commonplaces. ‘Whole picture’; ‘teamwork, collaboration, commitment’; ‘challenging global landscape’ – all our old friends are here, like grey-haired alumni at a particularly low-key coffee morning.
Standard default imagery is employed too: diversity-flavoured pictures of abacuses and boats, seedlings in plant pots. The best language is that around ‘citizenship’, which at least feels reasonably fresh and honest.
You have to dig deep for laughs. Best chance for these is on US recruitment page, which takes a range of employees and pictures them with objects meant to signify work-life balance.
Here’s Bety from Litigation, holding a basketball. She tells us that ‘Hogan Lovell’s game plan is to ensure each member of its team is thoroughly prepared to hit the court.’ And there’s her colleague William, holding up a sensibly small serving of red, informing us that ‘Working at Hogan Lovells is a well-balanced blend of hard work, depth, complexity and enjoyment. Much like a good wine.’ And so on, until you’re crying not with laughter but with the damned futility of legal employment marketing.
So far, so nondescript. No-one could possibly be offended (or enlightened) yet. So which way will it go? Will Hogans be heroes, or just a hulk?
